I've Got the Singles

I've come down with a horrible sickness. I've shared it with you guys before, but it's almost like during this season it's worse. I'm a carrier for it. It can be reactivated at any time - just like mono.

I've got a real case of the singles. It's true, I'm 29 and single.

Now before you go clicking the x button, it's not contagious. No matter how someone looks at you when you tell them that yes, you are in fact, still single, they cannot get what you have - they cannot somehow become single - they will not lose their significant other by just being associated with you.

I promise.

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"We are almost 30, if we find someone who makes us smile and pays attention to us, then we should probably just settle."

Imagine my surprise when I've heard this line being spoken to me over and over again by a friend that has found someone who does those things. Which lead me to thinking, and that's incredibly dangerous.

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I know that people can look at you with judgmental eyes, I know that it gets lonely and I know that having to RSVP for just one lonely person is the hardest thing you may ever have to do. I get all that. But here are a few things that just keep going through my head and some tips for girls who find themselves in the same season of life as me.

Settling.
I've got a list of things that are pretty much non-negotiable on my wants list for a man. And long hair, bearded, guitar players are not those things, and that may come as a surprise to most of you. Long hair can be grown out, beards can be grown, trucks can be bought and cowboy boots are sold all over the South. There is so much more to life and relationships than smiles and attention. And I refuse to settle for anything less than wonderful.


Sitting at home waiting.
This may come as a newsflash to most people - but the man of your dreams will not come walking through your door while you are sitting at home in your pjs. It hasn't happened to me yet and while I do believe in fairytales, I don't believe that my fairytale is written just like that. Get out and do things. Even if its dinner with your girlfriends.

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I won't stop living.
I'm single. I've got a bad case of the singles and unlike most diseases, being single doesn't mean you have to stop living. So if you wanna go out and dance the night away til 3 a.m. More power to ya.

I have so many people tell me that my life looks like so much fun - and it is. I'm almost 30 and while some people are out there settling for something less than what we hoped and prayed for, I'll be out having the time of my life. That's what memories are made of.

There will be a time when you can't be with your friends all the time.
Am I the only one who believes that you shouldn't drop your friends for a guy? Or who believes that relationships are all about a healthy balance with spending time with them and the girls? At some point you will need that guy and at some point you will need those girls - and while I completely believe that life is better when it's shared - I think that goes for the guys and the girls too.

Embrace the lonely, the flaws, the ugly, the walking through your own house naked, drinking wine part of singleness.
Every fiber of my being enjoys being alone at some point in the week and I imagine that goes for you too. I don't know if you guys know this or not, but once you get married, you have to be with that person for a long time, like forever. You have to eat dinner with that person a vast majority of the week, you have to tell that person what you are up to most of the time and you have to like look at that guys dirty underwear (these are all thoughts that go through my crazy head).

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So embrace that loneliness sometimes. If it means eating cheez-its and drinking wine while sitting in your underwear, then so be it. Find something to do that you know that most people won't like to share with you - like watching Buck Wild for hours at a time.

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My best advice to you, if you are in this same season of life, is to enjoy it. Love it. Don't settle.

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And if Mr. Right turns out to be a long haired, bearded, guitar player - then God really has been listening to all my prayers.

xoxo,
B