Walkin in Highhhhh Cotton

I would bore you guys with a picture of me on the beaches of Miami - but instead I have someone absolutely fabulous to fill in for me.

Promise me you'll go straight over to her blog and click that follow button.

I miss you guys already. Well, that's only half true.

Hey y'all! I'm Staci & I blog over at High Cotton Blog (We were walkin' in highhhhh cotton...old times there are not forgottennnn! No? No old school Alabama fans here? Ok fine. Live your life I guess.)

Have you heard? I have a puppy. I almost never talk about him though. Nope.

I am so excited to be on Brooke's blog today! She has been so kind to let me guest post even though I actually caused the split between her & Jake Owen. No hard feelings, though. That girl is just too sweet.

I have the fun task of entertaining you all on this wonderful Monday. Which now that I think about kind of sucks because everyone hates Mondays & if you're like me you probably hate everything & everyone on Mondays, so you are probably hating on me right now. Well played, Brooke. Jake says he wants his stuff back.

This is my favorite thing I've ever found on Pinterest.

Let's just continue on & you can hate me & I'll hate you & then on Tuesday we can just take it all back & hug it out.

Things I Can't Relate To.

You know how you will hear someone say something & everyone else in the conversation will nod & be like oh yes me too! And you're sitting there definitely not nodding & thinking are these people insane!? These kinds of people exist!? Is this an alternate universe?! And if so does that mean that maybe JT & Brit Brit are still together!? Here's a list of some of things I've heard people say that makes me think they are aliens. And gives me hope for a world with a Mrs. Britney Timberlake.

I just can't sit still! I'm a ball of energy! Must be moving around all the time! Wait- huh? How can you not sit still? It is one of my favorite activities. Now obviously sometimes you have to get up & get food or that crazy Kenya on Real Housewives of Atlanta makes you kind of pop up on the couch when she's doing her "Gone with the Wind fabulous" twirl. But how are there people in the world who don't know the joys of spending entire days in the bed or on the couch? Are you on meth? Are you on fire? If both of your answers are no, sit down and enjoy life from the comforts of your softest piece of furniture.

I really just wanted to post this again. It probably won't be the last time, either.

I feel so free when I turn my cell phone off for the day. Ok, now I really am living in a parallel universe. Someone please tell me y'all saved the People magazine cover from Britney & Justin's wedding. Oh, look there in the corner- Lindsay Lohan settled down with that superstar actor Jonathon Taylor Thomas. They really avoided the child star curse, didn't they? Do I need to even discuss this? What if someone calls with important information? You could miss an entire day's worth of hilarious texts from your friends! How will you check your Instagram feed!? 

Whew. Deep breaths. Ommmm.

And finally- I never take naps. I'm sorry. What? What did you just say!? I must have a hearing problem. Do you have some kind of medical condition that prevents you from taking naps? Did your doctor recommend that you lay off the naps? Have you considered contacting your state's medical board & having your doctor's license revoked? It is Monday, people. In between wanting to murder me for being on your computer screen right now instead of the hilarious Brooke you were expecting, you should be dreaming about crawling under your desk for just a teeny tiny nap. I refuse to even humor this never taking naps idea with any more of my words. It is just too much.

That's all I've got friends! I hope your Monday ends soon & you can go home & eat a snack & then not move. Maybe even take a nap. Just don't forget to keep your cell phone close by. Instagram a pic of yourself sleeping! Thanks so much for having me Brooke! And y'all are welcome to come hang out with me anytime!