God Does Big Things

He does big things with small people.

I don't often stop and count my blessings. Life gets busy and I get tired. I get so caught up in my life, in my little life, that I forget to stop and think of how blessed I am.

I often get caught up in my shortcomings, I sometimes let those faults overcome who I am, I decide that wearing those flaws as a badge is better than being thankful or proud of myself.

Ty posted this post, which made me even more proud to call her my friend, which had me crying tears while passing over every word, which made me want to write something like that for my very own. Something that I could cherish in that same way, that describes what makes me proud of myself. On what makes me, me.

I am proud that I have found my own set of wings to fly with. That I have become true to myself and have finally seen the light that is I can't please everyone. I am proud that I can stand on my own two feet, be proud of my decisions, know that each and every thing that I do from that point forward is a decision that is made in the best interest of myself.

I am proud that I stopped believing that I needed something else to make me happy - or to be thankful. I stopped believing that until I had that one missing piece, I'd never be happy. I decided to go on with my life and then the puzzle would be complete. I'd be happy - no matter what the circumstance. I am the one in charge of that happiness anyway.



I am proud that I made a decision over a year ago to stop being mean to my body. To stop the ugly looks and the stares that I got because, let's face it, I was fat. I am proud that no matter the amount of damage that I've done to myself, or the blaming that I've done, or the psychological damage that I've done to myself, I decided to make a change. I am proud that even though the road has been hard, and it's been so damn hard, that I've made the decision and I've stuck with it - regardless of set backs - I knew who I wanted to be.

I am proud that I know what it's like to be a 'yes' girl. No, I haven't made any decisions in my life like Mary did, but I've learned to listen to God and what he wants from me. I've learned to pick up my cross daily and carry it - and I've learned that no matter what, no matter what he wants from me or of me, those are the decisions that I will make for my life.



I am proud that I do things outside of my comfort zone - those things that make memories. Those things that make my skin crawl a little - those things that make me who I am. Like studying abroad, and traveling the world by myself, and interning for CNN, and interning in the state senate - and jumping off houseboats and going down slides and making new friends.



I am proud that all of those trials and tribulations have made me strong. They've made me able to be who I am - they make me be able to see things from this side. That I am able to sit with others and talk to them about how it WILL get easier. How the pain will be turned to good. I can promise them that God is teaching them something. That I can talk to children whose parents are going through alcoholism or addiction and I can tell them to be thankful. I am proud that my dad has overcome addiction and alcoholism, I am proud that I drove the car for him when he needed to go to rehab. I am proud that I can go into an AA meeting and get it.


I am proud that my God is a forgiving God, who is one full of grace and love. I am proud that he teaches me daily to love people, no matter the situation. I am proud that I can call myself a Christian and that he gives me the strength to say what I believe. That he gives me the strength to be proud to be one of his followers. I am proud that he has forgiven me for all of those mistakes that I've made, and continue to make, and that his grace is enough for me. That he gave me a giving heart - one that will drive by the neighborhood just to steal hugs from the kids that I love - one that cries big ole tears just because your heart hurts for the janitor.



I am proud that I am who I am today - a year ago, things were a little foggy. I was a little lost and I wasn't real sure of myself. Things are touch and go sometimes. And there are still dark days. And it's been a long road, one I wasn't always proud of. But I am thankful that I have learned enough to be proud of myself.

xoxo,
Brooke