Letting Go.
Thursdays are one of my favorite days of the week. I don't really know why. I guess it's the newness of the weekend. Maybe it's the funtivities that start on Thursdays. Or maybe it's just because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I've never been really good at letting go. I guess you could call it a fault. Maybe it's just that I have this hope that I can fix things. Or maybe it's just hoping that things are too good to let go of.
I've always been a fighter. I've fought for relationships. Friendships. Even when I knew I shouldn't fight anymore. Even when I knew it wasn't worth fighting for.
I'll always hold on to this special memory that I have. One night while fighting for a failed relationship, even after he'd said horrible things to me, I sat in the middle of the park pictured below, and cried. Not because I was sad really, but because I had realized that what I had so vehemently fought for, wasn't something I even wanted in the first place.
Sometimes, as human beings, I think we get caught up in the here and now. Without being able to see the big picture. Society tells us that by my age I should be married with 2 kids and a white picket fence. Has that happened for me? No. Am I sad about that? No. Do I sometimes wish that I had those things? Yes. But realistically only so that I wouldn't have to see the looks of pity on people's faces. I don't want those things just to have them. I want them because I can't imagine living without someone. Right now, I can't even imagine having dinner with some people every night of the week.
I decided that night, well probably the next morning, that I would make better decisions for myself. That I would let go of some of the dreams that I had for myself. That I would start being a better me. And life has never been better. I started running shortly after that. I started taking care of myself. I started forming better friendships. I started being me.
Sometimes I lose sight of that. I recently fought so hard for a guy to spend time with me that finally one day it clicked. Albeit it was at Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals - but it clicked. It's not me. It's him. I can't change who he is. And that's okay. I've let go of that.
So where does this leave me? Well, it leaves me right where I am. In a place in my life that I'm incredibly thankful for. I know who I am for the first time ever.I know what I want. I know how to get it. (Except for that guy that I'm afraid to ask out).
borrowed from Alissa
My wish for so many is that they learn that same peace. That they learn who they are. That they learn to identify themselves for who they are - and not by the people around them. To let go of some of the negative thoughts. To let go of toxic things. Let go of those thoughts that don't make you strong.
Happy Thursday!!
Brooke
14 comments:
oh lord. Did you hop inside my head to write this?? I am in your exact shoes right now girl
love this. as much as us single girls would all like to pretend like it's easy to let go of stupid boys that treat us poorly it's so much easier said than done.
I love your honesty. I struggle with this as well. Fighting so hard becomes the focus rather than what you're fighting for? After this is when I started to lose weight and workout a lot too! Thanks for the encouragement to keep going.
love this post sister - letting go is a HUGE healthy part of life. And for the record, I've gone through this same stuff recently with dating about almost chasing boys to spend time with you and I learned very quickly that's not the right path. And any boy who wouldn't want to spend time with you is CRAZY anyhow!
Such an insparational post! I have to learn how to let go and move on with my life. It's never easy, but It's definitely something we have to go through. Ohh and I'm on the same boat with you and Nikki from The pink growl. Us girls need to stick together ♥ xo
Boom Brookie. Nail on the head. I'm putting this in my favorite places :) love you
We are such the same person.
But you already knew this.
I love you to the moon and back.
I need this. So thank you for being so strong and for having the courage to post this.
I tend to be a fighter, too, and I've often fought for relationships and friendships that weren't really worth it in the first place. I feel like as I've gotten older I've gotten better about it though. Great post!
Sarah @ Life As Always
Loving this. what a wonderful reminder.
Interesting blog. It would be great if you can provide more details about it. Thanks you
burun estetigi
I love that quote at the beginning. It's perfect!
nicely put, its like your writing my thoughts for me!
I agree with the ladies up above. While reading your post I kept saying "It's like you're in my mind"! Very well put ♥
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